When I first read about the objective I thought about a list of people who I wanted to make a care package for, but the person who I chose is the last person I think I would ever want to give anything to anymore. The only romantic relationship that I had ever been in was 4 years (too) long and ended in January of this year. We were high school sweethearts and I can say that because of him, I truly learned what love is and why so many people seek and crave it. Although many believe that I was the bad person for ending the relationship they never saw the struggles and hardships he put me through. Unfortunately, we share many common friends together and are constantly running into each other whether it’s around our hometown of Downey, CA or at social gatherings which he never fails to make awkward. He ignores me and carries a conversation and eye contact with everyone but me although I try to greet him (out of respect). The things I threw together for his ACP aren’t necessarily all his but they are things that he will remember or things we had planned to do together.
The wristbands in the package are the wristbands I got on my 21st birthday two weeks ago. Coincidentally we had the same birthday, October 4th, and we had been planning our festivities for years. I went bar hopping with all of our friends but didn’t invite him. I would give him those wristbands to show him how much I wanted to wish him a happy birthday and that he was still on my mind, as a friend. The next would be a ticket stub to a concert I recently attended. We both were deeply in love with the artist, Majid Jordan, and always talked about how much we wanted to see them live. Sure enough the artists had announced that they would be coming to LA months after we broke up. I would like to tell him about how much fun I had and if he ended up going and whether he liked their performance. I included a book that I read over the summer called “This is How You Lose Her”. He isn’t much of a reader but I believe that book would help him with his emotional and mental health and the way he sees another human, not only in romantic relationships but also friendships and such. Lastly I would give him my favorite perfume and the first t-shirt that I stole from his wardrobe. He truly loved the scent of my perfume and he never realized I had stolen that t-shirt from him until a year later, although I would always wear it around him.
While creating this ACP I felt a rush of emotions. I felt a mixture of sadness and happiness. I was able to reminisce about all of the good times we shared within our time together and it helped me focus not so much on all of the bad times we shared. I also experienced a rush of happiness and joy when I was able to reflect back on the relationship and look at how much I had grown, I did not feel the need to be petty or talk bad on his name despite of what he had done to me. I want to live a peaceful life and I don’t want to have any unresolved issues with anyone which is why it does sadden me that he is unable to be a mature adult and realize that the decision I had made wasn’t selfish.
In my opinion sending this ACP is like a final form of closure for him and it is a way that I can try and break through to him that I never meant to hurt him. I don’t feel like I need to explain myself and my motives to anyone but I wish he just heard me out. Sending an ACP is not like sending a snapchat in my opinion. When I use snapchat, I use it in a very impersonal fashion, but sending an ACP is something that requires a lot of thought and effort into it. An ACP may not be the ideal view on what art is but to me I believe that art can be a form of self expression and that is what this is. The ACP is like a collage but instead of art or paintings it is a collage of your feelings and things that have sentimental value.